I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize