sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
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I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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