I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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