i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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