Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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