I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize