I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I love you.
Bad choice
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