That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize