I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
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You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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