If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize