Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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