id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.