Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
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I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.