a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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