He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize