so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.