Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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