my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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