Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
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I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
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Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We need to get me chipped asap