Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.