I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.