I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole