farters have to be the big spoon...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
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only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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