it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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