I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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