Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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