Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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