the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
