We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
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My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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