When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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