Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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