i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
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He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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