shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
