He's been sleeping iwht ***
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
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And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.