She's JV to your varsity
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.