I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.