Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

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  (843): there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done. http://tfl.nu/q1zr
  Replies (56) Good night (6528) Bad night (1280)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.

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  (301): Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life. http://tfl.nu/ieq0
  Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (3447)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.

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  (219): Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night. http://tfl.nu/jfm9
  Replies (68) Good night (28202) Bad night (3409)
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  (858): View more from California

  I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"

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  (858): I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits" http://tfl.nu/l1ei
  Replies (29) Good night (5115) Bad night (1535)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!

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  (251): The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?! http://tfl.nu/t0yf
  Replies (9) Good night (1488) Bad night (3098)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So....maintenance found the bullethole.....

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  (512): So....maintenance found the bullethole..... http://tfl.nu/54el
  Replies (22) Good night (5443) Bad night (2416)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation

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  (207): he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation http://tfl.nu/dl0f
  Replies (24) Good night (1072) Bad night (4880)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.

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  (859): You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point. http://tfl.nu/cgpy
  Replies (11) Good night (1409) Bad night (621)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.

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  (+44): You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4. http://tfl.nu/tyhh
  Replies (2) Good night (1988) Bad night (698)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.

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  (763): Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up. (763): I just baked them cookies. We're friends now. http://tfl.nu/27t6
  Replies (10) Good night (2699) Bad night (650)
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  (909): View more from California

  I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not

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  (909): I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not http://tfl.nu/br11
  Replies (10) Good night (1540) Bad night (720)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.

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  (605): And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way. http://tfl.nu/edar
  Replies (14) Good night (1076) Bad night (807)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.

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  (780): He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned. http://tfl.nu/9m93
  Replies (11) Good night (1041) Bad night (389)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?

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  (407): How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night? http://tfl.nu/3g7c
  Replies (8) Good night (589) Bad night (430)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0

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  (252): Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0 http://tfl.nu/k7y9
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (284)

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