if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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