i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize