Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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