i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
