APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
