After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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