never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
