I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize