I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize