Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
