Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize