My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
