dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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