Too much gin, very little bucket
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
