Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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