I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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