Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
porn star boner night. come get it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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