You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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