Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
