After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize