Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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